[ Did he honestly need to speak up to say he wasn't okay? Didn't you guys realize you treated him like shit? Isn't it odd that he acted so peppy and energetic all of the time? He's weak— he knows it, everyone knows it, but he doesn't want to believe it. Somehow, pretending like he wasn't weak made it seem like a reality— something his delirious mind could sink into until it felt like real life: being somebody else he wasn't. All he ever really wanted was approval and acceptance— for somebody to actually take him seriously. For some awful reason, he had believed such a big lie that nobody cared because they never responded well to his niceness— how else was he supposed get himself to be loved if even his generous actions went ignored? How is it, say, Ichimatsu could act so childish and get whatever he wanted that way? Love, care, attention— and yet— this stupid brat still acted like he hated himself and everything else and just was negative about everything. Karamatsu couldn't help it, though. As his brother, he loved him, even if he was jealous of him. He loved him and everybody else loved him too— unlike Karamatsu.
In any case, what Ichimatsu doesn't know is the fact he feels very guilty and very terrible for what he did. Nothing but regret. This isn't what he wanted in the afterlife, and this isn't what he wanted to happen on Earth— for more of his siblings to die. He felt such a copious amount of regret he didn't even know how to convey it properly other than self-hatred that he masked so perfectly under a charming smile and bright, confident eyes. It happened almost instantly when he was escorted to Hell but refused to show anybody how awful he felt for taking the coward's way out— for being and revealing how much of a weakling he actually is when he just wanted to be the strong, cool, dependable brother that they could go to whenever they need to. So much for that.
And now, Choromatsu had voiced how he felt. Choromatsu had voiced how alone he felt and how mean both Karamatsu and Osomatsu were for dying around the same time and leaving the rest of them behind. He thinks now if he hadn't been so selfish and stupid, maybe, just maybe, he could have done something to help the rest of his brothers along— the ones that Osomatsu left behind after he passed.
That's why when he sees Ichimatsu coming towards him as he resides on the street near his hotel, he doesn't lift his fists to defend himself. He doesn't brace his legs or even grimace. He knows what is about to happen and by the time Ichimatsu's fist is inches from his face....
...he knows he deserves it.
His teeth clank together as he feels his brother's knuckles smash into his mouth and he feels part of his tongue being bitten, the salty taste of blood spilling from behind his teeth. The sensation of burning and swelling pours over his face and one of his eyes shuts to try and ease the pain, but otherwise he looks at Ichimatsu in silence.
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In any case, what Ichimatsu doesn't know is the fact he feels very guilty and very terrible for what he did. Nothing but regret. This isn't what he wanted in the afterlife, and this isn't what he wanted to happen on Earth— for more of his siblings to die. He felt such a copious amount of regret he didn't even know how to convey it properly other than self-hatred that he masked so perfectly under a charming smile and bright, confident eyes. It happened almost instantly when he was escorted to Hell but refused to show anybody how awful he felt for taking the coward's way out— for being and revealing how much of a weakling he actually is when he just wanted to be the strong, cool, dependable brother that they could go to whenever they need to. So much for that.
And now, Choromatsu had voiced how he felt. Choromatsu had voiced how alone he felt and how mean both Karamatsu and Osomatsu were for dying around the same time and leaving the rest of them behind. He thinks now if he hadn't been so selfish and stupid, maybe, just maybe, he could have done something to help the rest of his brothers along— the ones that Osomatsu left behind after he passed.
That's why when he sees Ichimatsu coming towards him as he resides on the street near his hotel, he doesn't lift his fists to defend himself. He doesn't brace his legs or even grimace. He knows what is about to happen and by the time Ichimatsu's fist is inches from his face....
...he knows he deserves it.
His teeth clank together as he feels his brother's knuckles smash into his mouth and he feels part of his tongue being bitten, the salty taste of blood spilling from behind his teeth. The sensation of burning and swelling pours over his face and one of his eyes shuts to try and ease the pain, but otherwise he looks at Ichimatsu in silence.
Until: ]
—I know I am.