[ Now that they are talking, Karamatsu doesn't expect Ichimatsu to lose his temper again and strike him once more, so he's nothing but shocked when that second fist comes flying. Maybe he's reached a breaking point, or maybe he's trying to be "true" to Ichimatsu right now since they're on the subject, but he does precisely what he said, finally, and raises the white flag. If Ichimatsu wanted to see his real colors, here it is.
Hot tears instantly flood over his eyes and spill over onto his cheeks, rolling down to meet his jawline as he releases a rather noisy sob, one that's broken through the barrier he put up to impress others for years. His voice cracks and tremors as he can hardly speak. When he finally does, it's loud. ]
Being ignored was too fucking exhausting..!! Watching you all love each other and hate me was too exhausting..! Feeling alone, that was exhausting! Never getting encouragement from anyone was what was too exhausting..! Disliking who I was— not knowing who I was— that was too exhausting! I wanted to go away permanently but instead I'm here! Nothing has changed! I haven't changed— I can't change! I made a mistake, but I thought it wouldn't even matter!
[ He can't handle it anymore, so he just stands there and wails, not worrying about how weak he might seem in front of Ichimatsu, delicate hands lifting to scrub away some of his tears. ]
no subject
Maybe he's reached a breaking point, or maybe he's trying to be "true" to Ichimatsu right now since they're on the subject, but he does precisely what he said, finally, and raises the white flag. If Ichimatsu wanted to see his real colors, here it is.
Hot tears instantly flood over his eyes and spill over onto his cheeks, rolling down to meet his jawline as he releases a rather noisy sob, one that's broken through the barrier he put up to impress others for years. His voice cracks and tremors as he can hardly speak. When he finally does, it's loud. ]
Being ignored was too fucking exhausting..!! Watching you all love each other and hate me was too exhausting..! Feeling alone, that was exhausting! Never getting encouragement from anyone was what was too exhausting..! Disliking who I was— not knowing who I was— that was too exhausting! I wanted to go away permanently but instead I'm here! Nothing has changed! I haven't changed— I can't change! I made a mistake, but I thought it wouldn't even matter!
[ He can't handle it anymore, so he just stands there and wails, not worrying about how weak he might seem in front of Ichimatsu, delicate hands lifting to scrub away some of his tears. ]