[ Distant, whistling Western music in the background. There's a shot of Karamatsu at what appears to be a bar, and he's wearing a ridiculous hat. The rest of his attire, also ridiculous and half naked and not nearly as flashy as he would like it to be, but at least he got the hat.
Dramatic light falls on him as he starts to monologue to himself, trying his best to look cool.. somehow with his atrocious outfit. Here he goes, quoting Clint Eastwood and not even using his own material. He spits??? to the side before speaking.. was he trying to chew tobacco?: ] Hmph. Sometimes, the dead can be more useful than the living.
[ Just as he glances up from his drink to the camera and opens his mouth to speak again, a big text in flames falls over his face, completely obscuring it: ] GHOST RIDER RANCH[ The announcers voice continues, all while footage of Karamatsu interacting with hellhorses is seen in the background. Some of them breathe fire on him, and the scene cuts before anything gets too gruesome. The next scene, one is biting his arm and doesn't seem to let go and the scene cuts before he bleeds too much for hellish daytime television. There's also some demon bulls that he's trying to ride, but is bucked out of the camera view and the scene cuts before the camera can catch any noise of shattering glass, and so forth. Insert various stock footage of Karamatsu getting mauled, use your imagination.
All the while the intense announcer voice, who isn't even Karamatsu, is speaking almost too quickly for anybody to really comprehend: ]Change your idea of an average vacation for eternity, partner! Enjoy hundreds of acres of these majestic creatures! Available for rent! For your fistful of dollars, ya'll could bring home your very own hellhorse! Walkin' on the hot pavement gettin' ya down? Imagine pickin' up your HOT DATE on the back of one of these killer rides! (Literally killer!) WHOO-WHEE!!
CALL 1-666-66HORSE AND BOOK TODAY!!
GHOST RIDER RANCH
Because the West ain't dead here.
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