[And Eluvio, in fact, is precisely why he's gotten so far this time. Both because the time they shared there and the hardships they managed to face together aren't lost on Ichimatsu, and the fact that it means he's the only person, now, with Reaper gone, that remembers them. It's stitched a loose, patched bond the tiniest bit closer together, and Ichimatsu has finally realized that that's a good thing. Did he ever truly hate Karamatsu? No. Was it still fun as shit to give him absolute hell? Yes. But... Maybe, just maybe, he'd do it more carefully, now. He already had been, in a vague and roundabout way.]
[Being drawn closer to Karamatsu, on the other hand, does two things. It makes him flinch-- he's never been great with contact, and especially not when he's upset, but it also forces this uncomfortable bubble of anxious distress into the back of his throat that makes it hard to talk. ...Harder, that is. When he manages, his voice is squashed, like there's a very small space for the sound to pass through.]
I don't want to be sad about it, this is why I don't go to the trouble of making friends.
[He wants, somewhere in his mind and his twisted, sad little belly, to just cry. He wants to give that, to himself and to Karamatsu, to be open and to express emotion like a normal human being, but something stops him.]
no subject
[Being drawn closer to Karamatsu, on the other hand, does two things. It makes him flinch-- he's never been great with contact, and especially not when he's upset, but it also forces this uncomfortable bubble of anxious distress into the back of his throat that makes it hard to talk. ...Harder, that is. When he manages, his voice is squashed, like there's a very small space for the sound to pass through.]
I don't want to be sad about it, this is why I don't go to the trouble of making friends.
[He wants, somewhere in his mind and his twisted, sad little belly, to just cry. He wants to give that, to himself and to Karamatsu, to be open and to express emotion like a normal human being, but something stops him.]