[And that, right there, is a lot of why Ichimatsu doesn't really like drinking. He's a lightweight, which while not drinking often certainly won't help that is also a factor, but mostly he hates how honest and friendly he becomes when he's drunk, because he always does or says something stupid, or both. This, at least, was mostly intentional-- He really had been meaning to have some kind of heart-to-heart with Karamatsu for... a while, now, but words were hard and feelings were harder, especially when it came to telling your obnoxious older brother that you actually appreciated him when you had acted like you hated him for at least a decade if not your entire lives.]
[He chokes off again, recoiling from Karamatsu and finding himself in something of a cycle-- he'd try to breathe to regulate himself and calm down, hitch, and then immediately choke off a short sob of a sound, only to try and take another breath to calm down and repeat the process. Basically he's a Crying Drunk, right now, and he hates it, thanks. He smudges his hands over his eyes and nods, because he doesn't even want to try talking, right now, but he should at least acknowledge Karamatsu talking.]
[Maybe next time he's really sad, he can be there for him. The thought terrifies him and makes his stomach toss itself in anxious nausea, but it's how it should be. Family should be there for one another. And Karamatsu was always there. Maybe, just maybe... If he could afford him just a fraction of the kindness he was always shown, he'd find a way to be less wretched and hate himself a little less along the way.]
[But for now he's gonna sit here and cry. Don't mind him.]
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[He chokes off again, recoiling from Karamatsu and finding himself in something of a cycle-- he'd try to breathe to regulate himself and calm down, hitch, and then immediately choke off a short sob of a sound, only to try and take another breath to calm down and repeat the process. Basically he's a Crying Drunk, right now, and he hates it, thanks. He smudges his hands over his eyes and nods, because he doesn't even want to try talking, right now, but he should at least acknowledge Karamatsu talking.]
[Maybe next time he's really sad, he can be there for him. The thought terrifies him and makes his stomach toss itself in anxious nausea, but it's how it should be. Family should be there for one another. And Karamatsu was always there. Maybe, just maybe... If he could afford him just a fraction of the kindness he was always shown, he'd find a way to be less wretched and hate himself a little less along the way.]
[But for now he's gonna sit here and cry. Don't mind him.]