[ Poor Ichimatsu. He just doesn’t understand how alike they are in this regard, but Karamatsu is a little more knowing of it. Not just because he’s older by a few minutes, but because Ichimatsu is more vocal about his self-loathing feelings— there’s probably plenty of things that Ichimatsu vocally expressed that Karamatsu silently agreed with and reflected it back on himself. Although Karamatsu’s behavior was usually blown out of proportion into an embarrassing, flashy mess, at least Ichimatsu’s feelings regarding himself were honest, just a little scary. He was sick and disgusted that nobody came to his aid when he went missing that one night, but the second Ichimatsu would have gone missing, he knows.. he knows their entire family would be out looking for him. Him, this hateful creature— not Karamatsu who tried to reflect kindness, gentleness, love. Most of the time he was being true, but sometimes his actions were a bit over the top because he craved acceptance and being liked by somebody— anybody— entirely too much.
That’s because behind that bitter exterior, Ichimatsu was sweet and polite— a warm person who was insecure with who he was in this world. Sweet, polite, warm and insecure, all very true parts of both of their personalities. They’re both faking.
Karamatsu doesn’t bother to really blink an eye or cry at Ichimatsu’s hurtful words. He hears it all the time and now, he’s grown enough of a spine to just accept it. If it’s said so many times, it must be true, but specifically in this very moment where he feels like he needs and deserves punishment. If Ichimatsu ever wanted to lash out at him, now would be the precise time where Karamatsu actually thinks he deserves justice— justice for leaving his family for such a selfish reason.
But why? Why was Ichimatsu so angry? Why was Choromatsu so angry with him? Osomatsu knew how Karamatsu went, and yet.. he didn’t even bring it up in their conversations. Was that his way of also being angry about it? Obviously, it’s because they all care, a huge mistake on his part. He realizes he was believing a lie this entire time and his chest swells with regret, warm tears pricking the side of his eyes as he is handled around like, well, a bag of useless potatoes.
He remains seated on his ass after being so rudely plopped down. They’re both depressed, for whatever complicated reason, and it both started around high school. Somebody didn’t like who they both really were, or somebody hurt them both in a terrible way that made them both want to transform and disguise themselves into something else.
Karamatsu, the angry, sad, lonely, insecure person who felt like nobody could ever love somebody who gave off such traits, so he exchanged them for romantic words— too much kindness that he thought deserved approval in return— a flirt, who wanted more than anything to talk his way into a woman’s heart.
Ichimatsu, a sweet, anxious person with low-self esteem. Who could love somebody like that? Why even bother with any of it? Just push them all away, Get nasty, Get mean. Guard his already fragile heart at all costs— people weren’t worth getting damaged again.
Ichimatsu was calling Karamatsu out, so he’s just going to do the same. if Ichimatsu wants a genuine response, so be it. He wasn’t there when ESP Kitty did it. No, he was too busy tending to the wounds his very brothers put upon him. So here it goes: ]
You’re really a hypocrite, my dear brother. You think in all of the years that I’ve sat next to you, slept next to you, carried you in my arms.. I haven’t seen that kind spirit you have..? Hit me again, if you must, because I deserve this.
Though, don't forget one thing. You’re pretending too, Ichimatsu.
no subject
That’s because behind that bitter exterior, Ichimatsu was sweet and polite— a warm person who was insecure with who he was in this world. Sweet, polite, warm and insecure, all very true parts of both of their personalities. They’re both faking.
Karamatsu doesn’t bother to really blink an eye or cry at Ichimatsu’s hurtful words. He hears it all the time and now, he’s grown enough of a spine to just accept it. If it’s said so many times, it must be true, but specifically in this very moment where he feels like he needs and deserves punishment. If Ichimatsu ever wanted to lash out at him, now would be the precise time where Karamatsu actually thinks he deserves justice— justice for leaving his family for such a selfish reason.
But why? Why was Ichimatsu so angry? Why was Choromatsu so angry with him? Osomatsu knew how Karamatsu went, and yet.. he didn’t even bring it up in their conversations. Was that his way of also being angry about it? Obviously, it’s because they all care, a huge mistake on his part. He realizes he was believing a lie this entire time and his chest swells with regret, warm tears pricking the side of his eyes as he is handled around like, well, a bag of useless potatoes.
He remains seated on his ass after being so rudely plopped down. They’re both depressed, for whatever complicated reason, and it both started around high school. Somebody didn’t like who they both really were, or somebody hurt them both in a terrible way that made them both want to transform and disguise themselves into something else.
Karamatsu, the angry, sad, lonely, insecure person who felt like nobody could ever love somebody who gave off such traits, so he exchanged them for romantic words— too much kindness that he thought deserved approval in return— a flirt, who wanted more than anything to talk his way into a woman’s heart.
Ichimatsu, a sweet, anxious person with low-self esteem. Who could love somebody like that? Why even bother with any of it? Just push them all away, Get nasty, Get mean. Guard his already fragile heart at all costs— people weren’t worth getting damaged again.
Ichimatsu was calling Karamatsu out, so he’s just going to do the same. if Ichimatsu wants a genuine response, so be it. He wasn’t there when ESP Kitty did it. No, he was too busy tending to the wounds his very brothers put upon him.
So here it goes: ]
You’re really a hypocrite, my dear brother. You think in all of the years that I’ve sat next to you, slept next to you, carried you in my arms.. I haven’t seen that kind spirit you have..? Hit me again, if you must, because I deserve this.
Though, don't forget one thing.
You’re pretending too, Ichimatsu.