glitterpants | [ LITTLE HADES ] ✖ IC contact

_{[ it's been way too lonely and quiet just having Choromatsu here with him. Both of them seem more tidy, though, a trait Karamatsu has had since childhood. It's cleaner and more organized, which would normally seem fine.. better, actually. But to Karamatsu it felt wrong for everything to seem to peaceful and quiet, no matter how much he liked the solitude. He missed his parents making meals for them, working for them to supply income-- he missed being picked on, in a way, even if getting some respect was refreshing. He missed sleeping next to Ichimatsu even if he farted sometimes-- and he missed how Todomatsu would scream at him when he would do something embarrassing. He missed Jyushimatsu's innocence, and how they could sing songs together..

But Karamatsu really missed having a big brother instead of being a big brother. He missed Osomatsu's listening ear and his advice, even if it was half assed.

Essentially, he missed his family.

He hears his name and he leaps out of the seat he was sitting in, gazing out the window at his sibling. He smiles brightly, not quite where Osomatsu can see since he hasn't approached his window yet. Though, he remembers the harsh words that Osomatsu said to him-- how he disowned him and Karamatsu wasn't exactly sure why. He remembered he was supposed to be angry at him, and usually, Karamatsu would shrug it back off and be pushed around but... something about him changed, and it was probably because of them all dying and being split up.

The window opens and Karamatsu doesn't show himself, but instead rejects Osomatsu.
Not the response he originally had in mind. ]}

Begone, tempting voice that resembles a brother I once had.
_{[ ouuuuuch. ]}

Edited 2016-09-19 23:17 (UTC)

[all right, Osomatsu expected something like this. time to bring out the big guns. he flaps his wings, humming in thought, and then turns to the thing that he was carrying.

it's a boombox. where did he get a boombox? who knows. it doesn't matter. what matters is that he has one. he presses a button and turns the volume all the way up. and then he holds it over his head:

Baby, come back. You can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

and he continues shouting] I'm sorry, Karamatsu! I shouldn't have publicly disowned you on the network, and embarrassed you, in front of everyone! Even though you want to go to heaven, which means you'll leave us! And that makes me angry! But that's your choice, man! And you've gotta follow your heart, even if it's not beating anymore!

_{[ As annoying as that music is, Karamatsu actually is fond of it. He remains hidden with his back against the wall, not wanting to show himself to Osomatsu. Though, where he's standing, Osomatsu can probably still hear him.

When the song is over, or there's a pause for him to speak, he'll go onward: ]}

I didn't want to go to heaven.
_{[ pause. ]}
—By myself.

[he'll put the boombox down when the song is over, just before it starts playing Ice Ice Baby. he'll turn that off]

Eh?

I wanted to do enough good here.. not just for myself, but for everyone else, no matter how big of a sinful burden it was on my shoulders but..
After you said those things to me you didn't want to call me your brother anymore..

I started giving up.
_{[ Like a failure. ]}

[oh.

ah...]

[W H A T]

You... You were tryin' to...

[Karamatsu was running around, taking community service, trying to do good. for them. to take all of them to heaven with him.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

and all this time, Osomatsu thought Karamatsu was trying to get away from them! okay, now he feels like he's going to throw up]

Hmph. You don't have to say anything. I feel so guilty— so sinful.
_{[ whatever did he do to feel this way..? ]}

Because I felt so angry at you, I didn't.. care anymore whether you would join me or not. Burn in Hell for all it matters. I'm tired of being pushed around. I wanted to be better than you.
_{[ He sounds a bit troubled at the end of that sentence, almost like he's trying to sound angry but he isn't. In fact, he's the opposite. He's sad. Very sad.
It feels weird to feel bitter since he isn't accustomed to actually acting out his anger to his siblings. He feels so terrible with this new sensation that he can only blame on himself and he doesn't know how to exactly control it. ]}

Osomatsu-niisan.
_{[ Finally, though, he reveals himself to Osomatsu, turning the corner with the most pitiful expression he can muster on his face. He wants to hide it, to look strong, to look non-chalant and "cool" about all of this but he can't. ]}

I fret I am turning into a monster.. and now it's too late.
_{[ sure enough, he went through a drastic change.

And he's devastated, because he doesn't know what turning into a demon means. Does it mean he's stuck here now? Does it mean because of his shift of personality, he's doing this to himself? Does it mean he'll keep changing? Will he get ugly? ]}

[Osomatsu winces when Karamatsu tells him to burn in hell. he figured this was going to hurt. but he didn't know it would hurt quite that much.

though, then, Karamatsu calls him brother, and Osomatsu looks up at the window with tears in his eyes. stupid feelings. why did he need them? he quickly scrubs the tears away as Karamatsu comes to the window. he looks so sad. sad enough that Osomatsu just wants to comfort him.

he frowns deeply and spreads those new wings and then flaps them. slowly, they lift him up the side of the building, and when he gets to Karamatsu's floor, he puts his hand on the windowsill to brace himself]

I'm really sorry. I mean it. If I could take back what I said, I would.

_{[ Karamatsu shifts backwards, allowing Osomatsu more room to perch on his window. Osomatsu's changes look similar to his.. maybe they're all supposed to change the same? That would kind of make sense— same genetics and everything. ]}

Heh. _{[ not an amused chuff at all, it sounds sarcastic. He's trying very hard to be mean her instead of sad. ]}

Funny you all are saying that now that we're dead.
_{[ He glances up at Osomatsu, looking like he would crumble any second. It's so hard, he doesn't want to cry in front of Osomatsu like he did in front of Ichimatsu. He doesn't want that ever again.

Choromatsu apologized for treating him poorly.
Ichimatsu apologized for cheating him poorly.
And now, Osomatsu is. ]}

Why?
Did it finally take death to make you realize how much it hurts? Am I really that insignificant?
_{[ That's exactly his mindset when he decided to leave Earth. ]}

[that's a... very hard question to answer. because Osomatsu does not know how to answer it. this wasn't something he could cover up with a joke. this was about Karamatsu's death. anything Osomatsu could say would not be enough. it couldn't be enough.

he stares at Karamatsu for a long time, trying desperately to come up with words. but nothing that comes to his mind seems to be right. it's like his talk with Ichimatsu. he's really struggling! he pulls himself up and through the window so that he can sit on the sill and dangle his legs into the room]

I... I don't know why I'm saying this now. I think it's because, when we were alive, I really didn't think about how you might have felt. Not because I thought you were insignificant, or anything like that. But... because you always seemed like you were having fun. I didn't think I needed to worry about you.

You didn't think how I might felt..? Hah. Look in the mirror and say those venomous things you have said to me and see how it feels.
Nobody was there when I did it.

_{[ He already discussed this with Ichimatsu and he knows how he'll respond if he keeps talking about it, so he waves his hand in the air for dismissal. Osomatsu is doing the same thing Ichimatsu was doing: putting the blame on him again. Karamatsu doesn't want to think it was his fault he killed himself, even if it was. The guilt is too much so he's trying to push it one other people.

His tail coils around his own leg and squeezes it as he keeps his eyes on the ground, voice just above a whisper. ]}

.. Though..
I'd much rather die again than be disowned by any of you..

[but he wasn't putting the blame on Karamatsu! he was putting it on himself! at least he was trying to. Osomatsu looks really upset when his brother is finished. he sees the way that tail coils around his leg and moves to reach out for Karamatsu.

but then pulls his hand back]

... [Osomatsu came here to apologize, and he did that. and now he doesn't know what to do] I won't do it again, Karamatsu. I'll never say words like that to you ever again. I don't... even know why I did it in the first place. [looks at his hand] I was just... so mad. I thought you were tryin' to break away from me.

_{[ He really can't look at Osomatsu right now, so his gaze just focuses on the floor, actually shying away when his older brother invites himself in his room on his own.

His twists his fingers together, wringing his hands. ]}

Would you even genuinely care if I did? You weren't even around when I felt so lonely— so cold.
_{[ It wasn't Osomatsu's fault, really, that he wasn't around when Karamatsu started getting really bad thoughts, but..
He really doesn't want to come to terms to the fact that it really was his fault for his own death. ]}

Yes, I'd care! [his head snaps up at that, and this time, he reaches out to grab Karamatsu's shoulder] I'd care a lot if you broke away! [that was... the whole point of his tantrum, wasn't it? the whole reason Osomatsu was mad at Karamatsu was because he thought he was leaving him. ugh! what does he do? how does he fix this]

_{[ Karamatsu grimaces when he feels Osomatsu grab his shoulder, but he doesn't actually move. Last time he opened up his feelings to one of his brothers, he got punched. Twice. Man up. Don't cry. Don't be fragile. Don't show your colors again— nobody wants to see that. ]}

...

_{[ He doesn't know what to say, because if he says his thoughts, he'll start crying. ]}

[dammit... Osomatsu's grip tightens, and he tries to get Karamatsu to look at him. when it doesn't work, he drops his head and his arm.

Karamatsu couldn't forgive Ichimatsu for what happened. why should he forgive Osomatsu, who'd done something much crueler?]

I really am... a shitty older brother... aren't I?

[if Karamatsu's not going to cry, then Osomatsu will do it for him. honestly, he's sort of been needing to cry. ever since he died, Osomatsu has been keeping his feelings bottled up inside. he's lost his family, lost his home. who knows if he'd get to see his mother and father again, or Totoko-chan? what about the brothers who didn't come to hell?

and when he thought Karamatsu was going to leave him... he couldn't take it. he'd been so upset that he went as far to push him away. why had he done something so stupid? what kind of brother was he? he was the absolute worst. it was no wonder Karamatsu killed himself.

and so, he cries. it's not his usual crocodile tears. those tears usually come with whining. but now, Osomatsu is not whining. he's crying silently, letting his tears fall from his eyes onto his pants]

_{[ Karamatsu has seen a lot of things, but he's pretty certain he hasn't ever really seen Osomatsu give a good cry— here in their adult years. So, at first, he's confused. He hadn't expected to see anything like this before— the person that he looked up to so much— the person he looked towards for advice.

Now, he's crying. Crying! Karamatsu doesn't know what to do now, either, so he can just cover part of his face and his mouth in awe. ]}

O—Osomatsu, oi.
_{[ no no no.. how do we fix this..
Here just.. let him use his hands to lift your head up a little, the pads of his thumbs running over his sibling's face to wipe his tears away.

please hold he's trying to think but he's really beginning to panic.. ]}

Edited 2016-10-21 01:21 (UTC)

[now look at this. Osomatsu came here to apologize, to comfort Karamatsu. but it's the other way around. Karamatsu is comforting him. he forces a wobbly grin onto his face, even as the tears stream down his cheeks]

Y-you shouldn't... be comforting me... idiot. Man, I j-just get worse...! I'm sorry, Karamatsu... I r-really am sorry you have such a dumb lug of a brother...!

[it's no use. the smile crumbles away soon after, and Osomatsu just cries harder. he's so relieved, relieved to know that Karamatsu isn't going to pull away from him. he doesn't want to lose anymore than he already has]

_{[ It's okay, he feels a lot like Osomatsu does. Like a failure of an older brother.
Osomatsu's change in mood has startled Karamatsu from even bothering crying, so he just purses his lips slightly and.. places his hand on Osomatsu's head, stroking his hair carefully. ]}

A..Ah, well.. we all make mistakes.
You just make a lot of them.. niisan.
_{[ he's not denying you've been stupid before.. ]}

[Osomatsu nods, bringing up his sleeve to rub at his nose. he knows, he's always stupid.

but it sounds like... they're still going to be brothers. so Osomatsu's going to let all these tears out that he has right now, knowing that Karamatsu isn't going to judge him. or even if he does, he won't go telling Ichimatsu or Choromatsu about it. he's doing a great job being comforting, and for that, Osomatsu thanks him. because he kind of needed it...]

_{[ It's awkward, and Karamatsu is standing there, unsure of what else to say. It's true, most of the time his family brushes him off— or decide to be cruel to him. Osomatsu, though, is one he's invested the most trust in because he's actually helped him and advised him in the past.

Karamatsu lightly pinches Osomatsu's face, stretching his cheeks out with a sudden chuff of light laughter. How silly.
The very end of his eyes prick with small tears, but they don't fall. ]}

You may not have been by my side when I needed you the most, but you've been by my side more than once. And that is loyalty I do not take for granted.
Do not ever taunt the idea of crushing that again— I treasure it too much.
_{[ Do you see why he was so angry about what you said? ]}

[ahhh! owowow! Osomatsu pulls away from Karamatsu and rubs at his sore cheek. what was that for? well, it got him to stop crying, at least.

he sniffs loudly, and shakes his head] I-I won't. Sorry. [and he means it. Osomatsu was totally in the wrong here, and he will acknowledge that.

auuugh! he feels so much better now, like he got all the poison and sadness out of his system. he scrubs at his eyes again before giving Karamatsu a big smile]

Should we... Wanna go get a beer, or something?

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glitterpants - 2016-10-23 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

[ LITTLE HADES ] ✖ IC contact

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i don't know how but this got away from me I'M SORRY

it's all good

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