glitterpants | [ RIVERVIEW ] ✖ IC contact

_{[ Instantly, Karamatsu goes to the floor table to sit, but not before taking off his leather jacket. He's just in jeans and a t-shirt, though. Nothing bright and eye catching like his normal self. He'll also go for a beer and open it, brows firm together. ]}

... What's your deal, then?
_{[ jumping right in... cause he's curious.. ]}

Edited (double icon all the way, double icon) 2018-03-14 03:19 (UTC)

[He blinks, looking him over for a minute like he's trying to find the pain. Where is it? He's always wearing something gaudy. Without the jacket, he just looked... normal. Huh. He reaches for his own can.]

My deal? Nuh-uh, you first.

_{[ Karamatsu takes a seat right next to Ichimatsu-- maybe a bit too close for Ichimatsu's comfort. Karamatsu has been invading your space lately, hasn't he? ]}

Ehh? What? You're the one who is so eager to drink and talk, so start talking! Why me first, hah?!

[He sure the fuck is! Ichimatsu tenses and squirms slightly away from him, but he did solicit his attention this time, so it seems a little rude to go scorning him for contact, now. He only scoots far enough away that they're not right up on each other, though their knees are still touching.]

...Because I wanted to drink with you in some kind of effort to be considerate to the fact that you've been sleeping on the couch and obviously upset about something.

[This is... at least about half true.]

_{[ HE HEAVES AN EXASPERATED SIGH. Oh, and the drama, of course. He leaves Ichimatsu in an agonizing silence, looking away, far off into the distance (you know, staring at a wall in their living room.) ]}

I am in love with someone who cannot be mine.
_{[ ok so it's a day ending in "Y." Love is a strong word, too, so he obviously has no idea what he's talking about. ]}

[...Ah. Well that... smarts, in a way he hadn’t expected, so it’s a very sudden, sharp laugh that escapes him.]

[A moment later he brings his hands up, apologetic.]

Ah, shit, I’m not laughing at you, I’m. Laughing at myself, for you saying that. Should I guess who or are you gonna tell me?

Edited (gently edits to add formatting now that i'm home,) 2018-03-18 11:22 (UTC)

_{[ He will answer. It's long-winded, but he will answer. ]}

I shouldn't leave you in the dark much longer. My complicated feelings have only manifested into something far too much than I can handle. I have opened myself up to somebody because we became good friends and now I feel like I cannot catch up to my heart-- my heart will not listen to matter how much I tell it to stop.

It's Aoba-kun.

[He's really quiet, for a long time, but there's a funny little smile on his face as he looks at his can of beer. He knew that. It wasn't like he was subtle about it, really, and they were brothers. Sure, Karamatsu was dense as a sack of bricks sometimes, but Ichimatsu was an observant guy, seeing things he rarely ever spoke up about. The smile on his face sours abruptly into something like a grimace as the notion that Aoba is Karamatsu's soulmate resurfaces, and he chugs the rest of his can of beer.]

What makes you say he can't be yours? The guy he was weirdly obsessively betrothed to is gone now, isn't he? Take your chance. He's blue, and everything.

[He won't make eye contact, and his grip on the now-empty beer can is perhaps just a little too tight, the aluminum pinching inward.]

_{[ ?????
This is news to him because just a few days ago he had overstepped his boundaries-- took a kiss he didn't deserve and made Aoba all upset. Had Noiz left between now and then? That quickly? If so, Aoba probably needs time to recover. Karamatsu is dumb but he knows when people leave it takes awhile to recover. Jyushimatsu and his girl is a perfect example of that. ]}

I.. —
_{[ He doesn't know, but he looks agitated. He slowly takes a good, long drink from his beer as well. He's got an empty can too and instinctively crunches it together without realizing it. Look at them, copying each other's movements. ]}

I don't know, I probably ruined anything like that.

He's still here, though. Don't waste your chance completely.

[His tone is... dull. Duller than usual. It's that thing he does when he's being particularly hard on himself.]

_{[ Karamatsu is really stupid, but he can tell with that wording and tone in Ichimatsu's voice and he tilts his head. Is Ichimatsu saying something here? ]}

... Ichimatsu. Did you miss your chance with someone?
_{[ WOAH, PERCEPTIVE. ]}

[He didn't expect that, not in a million years, and it shows in the way he jolts and turns to give Karamatsu an entirely unguarded expression. He's... startled, but underneath the overall shock that Karamatsu, with the finesse and observational skills of a rock, had figured him out (as though he were being covert), he just looks sad.]

[And it sticks-- the expression stays for a full ten seconds before he forces it into something sardonic, grinning crookedly with one corner of his mouth and averting his gaze with a short shake of his head.]

...nah, honestly I don't think I had a chance in the first place.

_{[ Man, that response cuts harsh. Karamatsu thinks similar things sometimes with people he hopelessly falls for. He thought that about Sombra, and about Dorothy, Eichi, and now Aoba. It hurts because of how quickly he gains feelings for people only to know his inner self, his true thoughts, are gonna tell him he's not good or special enough.

Anyway, he's a little angry that Ichimatsu can just be frank and honest by saying that in such a sincere way. Why did Ichimatsu not care if he looked weak? ]}

.. Anyone I know?

[These two, holy shit. Karamatsu, jealous of Ichimatsu's honesty with being worthless, his hateful nature to himself coming off as not caring about being weak. Ichimatsu, jealous of Karamatsu's visions of grandeur, his constant ability to rise above, or pretend to, and smile all the while.]

[He oozes forward onto the table, reaching under it with one arm to produce Reaper's mask. He hadn't shown either of them he had it-- he'd been wearing the man's beanie pretty frequently, but it wasn't something obviously belonging to another person. He sets the mask down with a soft click, and keeps his head down on the table.]

_{[ Karamatsu doesn't recognize the beanie that Ichimatsu has been wearing, but he does recognize the mask the moment that Ichimatsu sets it on the table. His eyes grow slightly-- they've known Reaper for awhile now, haven't they? Karamatsu had forgotten, but Reaper was the last person other than Ichimatsu to experience the Eluvio.

Somehow, it makes Karamatsu feel a little bit more lonely. ]}

O-oi, you mean to say... you had romantic feelings for--
_{[ Him? Reaper? He kind of knew they were chummy friends and all, but.. ]}

Are you certain of that?
_{[ Reaper wasn't anything like Karamatsu's type, but he supposes he could understand Ichimatsu liking him. ]}

[He makes an ugly sound that's only somewhat like a laugh, sitting up and removing his hand from the bottom of the mask. He shrugs, his face pulled in an expression that looks a lot like he has a stomachache, but he won't look up at Karamatsu.]

You know, maybe I'm not. I've always been so shitty at making friends, anyway, maybe it just feels like I've had all of my insides carved out because he was the first person outside of family I agreed was my friend.

[He's not... mad, really, but being asked if he's certain he had feelings for someone when it was a lot to admit it in the first place makes him immediately put all his walls back up.]

I don't know, Karamatsu. Are you certain you're in love with Seragaki?

_{[ Love is certainly a strong word. Karamatsu is a firm believer of the word and he might be a little hasty to jump to the conclusion and use the word love for somebody, but if he was brought down to Earth and more realistic, he'd be hesitant to answer.

Karamatsu thinks for a moment and cracks open another beer and takes a good, long chug from it. ]}

The feelings I harbor for Aoba-kun are, in fact, romantic—
_{[ but even love is pushing it a bit. ]}

Though, I suppose, I would die for him.
_{[ oh. well that suddenly escalated...
did it, though? his self worth is pretty low... ]}

[He puts his head back on the table, but turned so he's watching Karamatsu's overblown display. He closes his eyes, shrugging, and sets his hand back over the lower part of Reaper's mask.]

...Gabe was kind of a private guy, he wasn't always around all the time so I didn't think much of it, but... Now his stuff's turned up. So he's gone, and I hate it.

[He looks back over at Karamatsu, pulling the mask off the table and setting it in his lap again.]

...don't go dying for anybody, shit's permanent here. [Is... is that concern.]

I would gladly sacrifice my entire person to protect somebody I love!
_{[ Oh. He just said it. And he looks a little drunk already. Rest in peace. ]}

What about you, ha-haa.. would you die for Reaper?
_{[ don't ask the self destructive one a question like that? ]}

Don't, I said.

[His tone is a little firmer, this time, and he's definitely a little bit drunk, himself, as evidenced by the way he reaches sideways and pushes at Karamatsu, leaving his hand on his upper arm.]

That's funny. You know how he was, I wouldn't have had the chance, anything that could kill him he'd see coming years before I even realized what was happening. And I think he was already dead, technically, anyway.

_{[ Dead anyway? That's.. that kind of spooky. But Karamatsu vaguely remembers Reaper threatening to take his soul, so he really wasn't even certain of Gabriel was human to begin with after all.
But that's Karamatsu. He's gullible as ever. Reaper could have said he was the devil himself and Karamatsu would have believed it.

But was it really a good match? Ichimatsu and the devil himself? Karamatsu doesn't even have to think about it for a moment-- he just nods his head, agreeing with his own unspoken thought. ]}

Ah. No worries then! Your life is valuable to me and valuable to him, I'm certain, so nobody will be dead besides him.
_{[ choose your words better???? ]}

Ha... can't people come back sometimes?

Edited 2018-04-06 14:35 (UTC)

[Why did he decide you were the one he wanted to talk to. He grumbles his way into a sigh and folds against the table, turning away from him again.]

Some combination of this conversation and beer was a mistake.

_{[ What did he say wrong!? He thought he was being real encouraging here! ]}

Oi, don't be like that, Ichimatsu.. there's still a chance. What if he comes back here? What if he comes back for you? I think he cared a good bit for you.
_{[ He shuffles a little closer, folding against the table and partially onto Ichimatsu. ]}

Ichimatsu. I'm so sorry. Ah.. at least you didn't make a mistake like I did and make him really mad at you. Hey, at least you're not me.

[That's just it, Karamatsu-- you are. You're being supportive and exactly what he won't admit he needs, right now, and he's handling it badly. As such, he flinches at his brother's weight leaning into him, but doesn't move away from it, just curling tighter around the mask in his lap and taking slow, measured breaths.]

[Slow, measured breaths which he lets out in an abrupt rush of air that resembles an ugly, ugly laugh, and he draws his knees up toward the underside of the table.]

See-- that's just it. It wouldn't be so bad, I don't think. To be like you-- to be willing to be honest. Maybe then I'd know what the fuck to feel, right now.

[At least if he'd made a mistake, Reaper would still be there to be mad at him. At least if he were mad it'd be something he could fix. At least, he'd not be floundering over this sudden gaping hole in his person, having only just barely realized friendship had taken the place of what had always been a void in his gut.]

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